The dark underbelly of "Black Friday"

I spent "Black Friday" far from any shopping center.  Instead, I spent it with a sister peace warrior in the battle to empower young people.  We spent our day talking about what we can do to help disadvantaged girls get ahead in a society which does not adequately prepare them to be successful in the world of work.  These girls have not been given the coaching and education they need and deserve to know just how to fight for themselves and navigate the rules to the game of life.  We dis-empower such young people by allowing the perpetual cycle of poverty to continue.  My friend and I do what we can and when we don't know what else to do, we look to others who do this good work to brainstorm with so we can come up with more ideas.

The irony of it it all is that I have chosen to stand up against the retail enslavement of people in my community and across the world today.  Yes, I said enslavement.  And yes, today is Black Friday.  Those who work for barely living wages do so because there is a feeder system (young people grow up without adequate workplace and career-planning training, in addition to the lack of programs that teach young people how to "unlearn" the habits and negative self-talk of poverty).  As long as my society demands the right to consume at dirt cheap prices, there will be companies who engage in low-wage employment practices, further perpetuating the cycle of poverty. There are those who fight against me right now as I take a stand on this issue but I know I'm not alone and I will stand up for what I believe until others stand up with me.  And you can start by (1) being conscious of how your shopping choices impact all the unseen people involved in bringing a product to you and (2) making any small change in your shopping choices.  Even just one.  Shop locally, support a local craftsman, make your own gifts, give to charity, sponsor children living in poverty, reduce your holiday spending budget or even just buy one less thing.  Any small action you take is one important step.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/brainsparker?fref=ts

2012 Black Friday: Enslavement of the low-wage American worker: 

Last night, before I went to bed, I checked Facebook and saw several posts by friends and many of my college-age former students posting about having to head to work at retail stores at midnight. They went because they need to keep their jobs and they need the money. Did they have a choice? No. And why not? Because our culture of CONSUMPTION has become one which now makes Black Friday not just an opportunity for retail stores to "kick off" the Christmas shopping season, but rather a requirement for us to consume, consume, consume. And who will make this possible for us? The low-wage workers who have no choice to work at these businesses, because when you live in poverty and you lack skills for higher paying jobs, you take and keep any job you can get.

Is it appropriate for any of us to ask someone to work a ten or twelve hour overnight shift they don't normally work when their bodies should be resting so that we Americans can purchase low-priced goods made in sweat shops across the world? No. And now we have become a society which has successfully established the enslavement of our own people (those working the low-wage jobs, of course) to fulfill our selfish desires to both make money (corporate retailers) and consume (citizens who have fallen victim to this ploy to get them to spend). This will not stop. Thanksgiving/Black Friday 2013 will be just as ridiculous - or worse. Retail workers will not be allowed to sleep through the night because their income hails from retail stores which now "have to" participate in order to compete in the profit game. Only WE can stop this. Ask yourself what truly matters and know that the sweatshops and enslavement of workers has finally come here, to our own community. It is as close as that cashier who took your credit card at 2:15AM so you could get that $55 flat screen television made by enslaved workers in China it's easy not to think about.

No one should have to drink Red Bull all night to make it through a ridiculous work shift their bodies are not already accustomed to. Ever. Especially mere hours after celebrating an American holiday which reminds us to "gives thanks" for what we already have.

My stance may shake people awake or it may anger them.  I struggle to censor myself anymore because I know the truth and I have to sleep at night knowing whether or not I took a stand and did whatever I could to make life a little bit better for those who need our help.  There are so many inequities and so many battles to be fought.  This is a challenge for a peaceful warrior who chooses always to see the love first but sometimes the love is the one thing at the heart of the shakedown which remains true.  As the following quote states, enlightenment is a destructive process.  We cannot awaken half-way and we can no longer pretend that the time has not come.  When everything is falling apart around us, it is the best sign I can imagine that it is time for us to destroy our own limiting and fearful beliefs too.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/truthBECKONS

Yes, No, and Cancer...

It all comes down to balance.  But why is the illusive perfect in-between so hard to capture - and hold on to?

Harmony.  Balance.  Peace.

I've seen over and over again a commonality among so many women I know:  An inability to say no that is accompanied by an inability to say yes - for herself.

What is often said:

"Sure, I can do that for you.... and no, I don't need any help."

That's fine if it balanced with an equal amount of:

"No, I'm not able to help with that right now... and I need help with something."

Why the imbalance?  Because, too often, the people who are asked to help are those who are reliable, extremely giving (whether asked or not) and almost exclusively willing to sacrifice themselves for the needs of someone else.  And once others know who the "yes" people are in their lives, they develop a comfort level which can and often does turn into a form of dependency.  This, in turn, creates a new dynamic that becomes very difficult to break free from - one that makes both the giver and taker believe that this is the "norm" of their relationship.  This is a terribly imbalanced relationship and also a form of codependency.

There can be healthy codependency for periods of time but the overall and long-term picture of a relationship between any two people must have a healthy balance of give and take.  For instance, two people diagnosed with the same disease who find one another at a support group can become equally dependent on each other for support and understanding.  As long as this need does not become one which excludes the support (through the giving and taking of a reciprocal relationship) with others, this can be healthy and mutually beneficial.

This reciprocity of relationships in our lives has been at the front of my mind this week for several reasons.  It is indeed something I am still trying to perfect and embody in my own life.  I was reminded of my own tendencies to give too much and ask for too little help after I spent a recent evening with a friend battling cancer.  Her extremely loving, protective, generous nature has made her a giver for her entire lifetime yet now, at a time of great need when even her children are telling her to say no more often, I wonder if she is asking for all she needs.  I, too, know just how hard it is to ask.  There are so many reasons why a confident, strong, independent women tend not to ask for help.  But isn't it that same self-confidence that can give her the strength to ask for help when she needs it?  Easier or not, receiving help will help her to gain her strong sense of balance, critical for a healthy, balanced life.

I know that developing a strong balance of giving and receiving supports a person's equilibrium on a physical level, an emotional level, a mental level and even an energetic level.  As within, so without.  It's my belief then that it is our responsibility to teach our children how to develop, maintain and share their own inner sense of balance throughout life.  Quite simply, balance gives us a foundation from which to build the stamina and the sense of inner peace necessary to foster healthier lives, relationships, boundaries and perhaps even healthier bodies.

In my work, I taught my students about developing a work-life balance and reciprocal relationships in the workplace.  I think it's time I take that a step further.  We need a lot more yes-no balance in the world - and a hell of lot less cancer.