The Divine Cycle: Birth, death and rebirth...

Hey, humans!  We are surrounded by nature and nature offers us lessons whether we are paying attention or not.  Today, I was presented a humble lesson on birth and death (and darn if that doesn't somehow also have the sneaky little lesson of letting go attached to it!)

Birth and death are two perceptions of the same process. Everything - every animal, every plant, every minute, every relationship, every breath, every idea you have - everything experiences the two sides of this dichotomy in order to grow, change, and be present in this moment as it is intended to be.

Today it was my orchid that offered me the lesson - by both being born anew and dying in part at the same time. Since 2004, this beautiful plant has blossomed every winter. Today, it has at least six purple blooms waiting to be born. It also has a decaying, dying leaf. The plant is not unhealthy, it is simply putting its resources into being born anew, and not into keeping one very old leaf alive. We, too, must focus our energies on the parts of us that wish to grow, and be willing to simultaneously allow what is no longer necessary - or what must be given up - to wither and die. It is part of the natural order of things to live and die and be born anew. Don't spend all your energy on keeping something alive that is simply ready to go.

As you see the things around you - beliefs, ideas, relationships, perceptions, and purposes that once served you - now decaying in your life, rest assured that what is leaving you will create the space for the energy to be born anew in your life.  And what will be born anew will be full of the wisdom you've gained and the love you've found for yourself so what's coming will only be better than that of which you are letting go.

Namaste.

Death of a leaf empowers birth of budding new life.

It's a new day...

It's a new dawn.  It's a new year.  It's a new beginning.  It's a leap year!

I've always loved the New Year.  Sure, I've loved the celebrations, the toasts, the kisses, the parties (yup, I did Times Square when at midnight a ball dropped and Prince's 1999 played everywhere) and I've even loved a New Years Eve or two alone for serious introspection.  Since I was a kid I loved the idea of celebrating a new beginning, entering a new day and a new year during the darkness of night and I love New Year's Eve fireworks so much more than those on the Fourth of July.  I find the cold winter night to be a time when we humans would only venture out into the night because something REALLY big is happening.

Last night, I felt that something really big did happen.  Something way bigger even than roaming the streets of Times Square and dancing to "1999" in the wee hours of 1999.

I don't know what it is, I won't pretend to predict anything but I do know that the shift I've been feeling, the one that has been aligning inside of me, shifted in a rather profound way today when I awoke - and I'm excited to see what comes with it along the way.

I'm a big fan of love, light, positivity, prayer, intention... of giving what you can and taking care of your own heart so I'm carrying these things with me into 2012.  I encourage you all to follow me into your own loving light in 2012.  We will need it.  We will surely need reminders to look for our own light and we may need to rely on each other's light more than we're prepared to but know that this is precisely the reason we will carry it forward.  The world - and you, and me - we all need the light and the love to help heal our species and bring love and divine intention back to planet Earth.  Our big beautiful temporary home needs us to love her and love each other just as she does by giving us absolutely everything we need to exist here.  If we can learn to love a little more (and this means loving ourselves more too), then we can surely start that ripple effect that we all know changes the balance of things in the world, heals all things and courses through the veins of each and every one of us.

May you be inspired enough to live your dreams.
May you have the courage enough to be unblocked from your own destiny.
May you have the strength enough to face any obstacle.
May you carry the light you were given by God through even the darkest days.
May you give love to one more person than you thought possible.
May you heal your spirit, strengthen your body and be who you are uniquely meant to be in the world.

Most of all,
May nothing hold you back.

And if you aren't sure you're ready for the big shift or the big energy coming our way, just take this tiny little test.  Just one question, that's all.

Q:  Did you let go of something in 2011 - a relationship, a job, a habit, a toxic situation, a bad friend, a bias, an unneeded possession, a false belief, a denial, a story that no longer defined you, an obsession, a fear?

If you answered YES to any part of this question, then congratulations, you're with us.
If you answered NO, I'm afraid you've landed on the wrong blog.

Happy 2012, ya'll!

It's okay, you're not the only one...

I just received an email from a very close friend who moved to the other side of the world a couple years ago to follow her dreams.  She has.  But it's not enough.  It got me thinking (and writing) about how just about everyone I know is struggling right now.  I don't mean to say that people's lives are falling apart, in fact most "strugglers" I know seem to be doing okay "on paper".  They seem content and in most ways, they are FINE.  But fine just isn't enough when your soul is knocking on your brain and saying, "Hello, it's me, your higher self.  You're here for a purpose.  A big one.  And it's a big undertaking.  You won't fail, but you will have to change a lot of things - let's get going."

Sound familiar?

That's all well and good if you know what that purpose is (or at least think you know - or have an idea) and it's easy enough to live with if what you need to change doesn't cause you too much pain, or financial burden... but I don't think that's the case for many of us.  Maybe most of us.  I think we are all releasing something huge... and in some cases, we are releasing everything.

At first I thought it was mainly happening to my "generation" (let's call that Generation X - fancy label isn't it?) - but even that isn't right.  My mom is changing in ways I never imagined.  Others her age are turning over MASSIVE stones in their own lives.  At first, I thought my former students (who are now 18-24-ish)  didn't face as many of these challenges - I thought they had a different perspective because of their innate open-mindedness - they grew up living and breathing a kind of openness that has existed in their world view because they were born into a world that is connected via the webosphere.  They ARE the children of the global village.  But that assumption wasn't right either.  Many of them find the norms of society to be boring, redundant, pointless and un-engaging.  And they're right. How can we lose them before they've even really begun the "grown-up" journey?

Actually, I don't think we are losing them, I think they are leading us on this journey into Change.   For their generation, it's a default setting.  For us Gen Xers, it's a kind of refusal to conform.  For the once-radical baby boomers it's an overdue rebellion (they who got distracted raising us Gen Xers).  For all of us humans though, it is a very personal and very difficult set of questions, doubts, worries, self-examinations and, in the end, a battle that can only be fought and won with love and honesty.  Love and honesty with Ourselves.  Talk about a tough audience.

I wish I had answers for my girlfriend but I feel as though my only advice to her is to stick with it.  I'll stick with it too. (Mine is no less open-ended, unsettled, raw and inside out than anyone elses.)  Not only will I stick with my own uncertainty, pain, loss and confusion, I will do it right beside her (thank God for the internet).  And apparently I'll do it out in the open for the rest of the world to witness if they care to.  I suppose a big part of the self-honesty in this is admitting that we are not alone in the uncertainties - and then reaching out to ask someone to stand by us while we go through it.

This great collective of individual struggles is part of a greater human struggle to find what is right for all of us.  Collectively.  The Collective Human Population.  After all, we are all the same, aren't we?

What are you waiting for?

The spiral of life...

Life is a dance of dichotomies.  The pairing of love and loss, challenge and triumph, joy and pain accompanies us all along the journey. As long as we take time to reflect and seek the divine lessons in our challenges, then we are on the right path. When we step back and see this magical system for what it is, we can then find gratitude for all of the bliss and suffering of life.

You gotta have faith (ah-faith-ah-faith)...

No, not for the reasons George Michael sang about (though that's good too), but for the purpose of getting through.  It seems that we spend so much of our lives getting through something.  An interview, a breakup, a project, a period of change....  We spend very little time in the static space that must exist between one thing and another.  Between achieving/winning/surviving/overcoming one thing before another pops up in our lives.  That between time is as rare as the half of a day when all of your laundry is clean and there is none in the laundry basket.  It's a small moment, it's there, but it's always quickly replaced by a new and growing pile of laundry to be done.  Again.

Unlike the ever-present chore of doing laundry which is mundane, mindless and entirely nonthreatening (save for the part of you that just doesn't want to do it), our ongoing process of getting through something in life just seems to keep coming in surprising ways.  Sometimes we find ourselves getting through something that crept up on us, completely unexpected.  Sometimes it comes as a shock.  Sometimes it's welcome and lovely and you don't mind it at all.  But life is always a series of one thing after another that we are going through.  Or, as you might say, one thing after another that we are living.

Tonight I'm focused on having faith for the getting through.  I'm not talking about the kind of faith that we call upon when we find ourselves in sudden and desperate communion with God.  Not the impetuous kind of begging for the strength to get through something that happens when we are in crisis or hurt or in survival mode. Rather, the kind of faith we have that allows us to move from one phase of life to another.  From letting go of and moving beyond something we know well and moving into the great unknown of the future - having faith along the way that all will be well and banking on it being better than we can imagine in the present moment.

That kind of faith that we humans manage to have in the getting through-ness of life is the kind of faith that is an intimate conversation between ourselves and the higher power that allows us to get through anything. And I do mean anything.  And as humans, across the great span of human history, we have gotten through so much and most of the time we have done it not realizing just how strong we were while we were going through it.

So here's to having faith... and getting through.

When God closes a door...

He really does open a window.  Or another door.  Or eight new doors.  Or sometimes, even, an entirely new building.

I realized recently that I had been looking closely for something in one place for quite sometime.  After years of looking, expecting and hoping for it, I finally accepted that it was never going to happen.  So I let go and gave up the desire for it.  Only after I let it go did something else completely unexpected happen in an entirely new place with entirely new people.

Yes, I'm being vague.  It doesn't matter what it was for me, rather, the important thing is that we all begin to learn the lesson that looking for something is far different from allowing yourself to be open to something.  There are many wise spiritual leaders, metaphysical gurus and none-too-few books that talk about how we attract things to us.  And I've learned, after much studying, reading and listening that they all have pretty much the same thing to say:  We are constantly attracting to us all sorts of things but what the universe (or God) has in store for us is always exactly what we need, be it an opportunity to learn, to grow or to experience something important.  The universe contains such incredible power and works in so many ways we can't possibly measure or understand.  The problem is that we get so attached to what we want (or worse, what we think we need) that we often miss those opened windows, additional doors and brand new opportunities that pop up around us all the time.

Have the courage to stop looking for something in particular and open yourself to all of the wonderful things that life is bringing to you.  They are coming all the time whether you notice them or not.  And don't get attached to what you think the outcome should be.  The actual outcome, once it has come to pass, will be far greater than you could have imagined yourself.  I know, I've witnessed what is behind my own newly opened window after I finally stopped trying to get back into that closed door...

Gratitude for Gratitude

Last night, I celebrated my birthday again, this time with a friend I've known for several years who shares the same birthday as me (plus a few years) and while we are very different people in some ways, we are incredibly similar in some, too.  It makes me wonder if sharing the day of our birth somehow makes us understand things in a ways others cannot.

Happy Birthday to us!

Let me tell you a bit about our evening and how it brought me to a place of even deeper gratitude for Nate and a new commitment to speaking my gratitude aloud for at least one person to hear.

When Nate and I arrived at the restaurant last night, the hostess initially seated us in a very cramped part of the restaurant.  There wasn't even room for Nate to wheel his chair under the table without blocking the narrow walkway between the tables.  Yes, it was a Saturday night, but the restaurant was big enough to have the kind of space available that someone in an electric wheelchair truly needs in order to enjoy an evening out that the rest of us able-bodied folks take for granted.  I find it easy to become vocal about Nate's needs when we spend time together.  I notice so much of what he experiences on a daily basis and 90% of it just makes me angry.  After seating us at an impossible table (and after the hostess looked over Nate's head directly at me to ask a question about him), I got angry enough to get up and ask for another table.  Eventually, they found us one and we made the great trek to the other side of the restaurant (people needing to move themselves or their chairs in order to let us through).  We were re-seated at a table in the corner near the side door which was opened often, and every time it was we nearly froze to death but it didn't matter.  We were about to have a great time, as we always do, laughing, talking about work, relationships, God, the meaning of suffering and so much more.

Something always happens when I spend time with Nate.  A part of me feels his pain.  A part of me wishes to make things easy for him, even if just for the hours we are together.  A part of me worries that I will outlive him.  A part of me sees the beauty and great humility that comes from someone who must ask for help.

More than anything, after I've spent time with Nate, I am always reminded of the miraculous capacity humans have to face any amount of suffering and move through it to a place of not just survival, but gratitude.  Nate was proud to have lived fifteen years as a quadriplegic.  Turning 1 year older was a source of pride for him, despite all that you and I might view as the pain and loss in those fifteen years.

Nate is a teacher, like me.  He's caring and compassionate, just like me.  He has the ability to engage anyone in conversation and wants to make them laugh.  Last night complete strangers came over to speak to him - some offered to take our photo (Nate would tell you that it's because we are the two most attractive people in the world - unfortunately, that picture didn't save so we only have a few dark camera phone self-portraits to prove his theory).  Our waiter even thanked us for making his night a little bit brighter after struggling with a challenging party of 20 people (they were right next to us - between the camera flashes all night and, apparently, the bill divided 20 ways, I can imagine what a headache the night must have been for him).

While we would have stayed out much later talking about the reasons that our souls chose the paths we are on in this lifetime, Nate had to return home.  Before we said goodbye, though, we made a commitment to something.  We even pinky swore on it.  Nate and I agreed to post one thing on each other's Facebook page that we are grateful for every single day.  We decided that there is always something to be grateful for.  Even the tiniest thing.  And sometimes, the things that we can be grateful for aren't so tiny - like a night that was more fun than any other we've had (that includes the Sox-Yankees game I got to see with him because he can get tickets in the handicap section).  I could have chosen to focus on the rough start to the evening because Nate's unique needs were not considered but instead, I choose to think about how the evening ended up to be quite wonderful - for Nate, for me and a waiter named Jason.

And just so you know a bit more about the kind of person Nate is, here's one final detail about last night:  I started to get indigestion toward the end of the evening from all of the spicy food we ate and he insisted on asking the waiter where the nearest drug store was - and then going out in the cold himself to get me Rolaids.

So, gratitude for gratitude, that's what I'm sharing with Nate.  May you, too, find someone to share your gratitude with.  This is a way for us to keep each other thinking positive and remembering to always find something to be thankful for, even on our darkest days.

Here is our Gratitude for Gratitude, day 1:

Amy: I'm grateful for honest friendship.

Nate: I am thankful for good food, good friendship, and good conversation!

A message from the Hopi Elders...

I have loved this passage for years and read it often.  Each time I read it, it becomes more true, more eminent.  I encourage you to write it down, bookmark it, print it, copy it - whatever it takes for you to read this again and again when you are seeking answers and guidance.  

The wisdom is not mine, but the sunset, for a few moments last June, was.  

Both can and should be shared.

A Message from the Hopi Elders 

"You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. 
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour. 
Here are the things that must be considered: 
Where are you living? 
What are you doing? 
What are your relationships? 
Are you in right relation? 
Where is your water? 
Know your garden. 
It is time to speak your Truth. 
Create your community. 
Be good to each other. 
And do not look outside yourself for the leader. 
This could be a good time! 
There is a river flowing now very fast. 
It is so great and swift, that there are those who will be afraid. 
They will try to hold on to the shore. 
They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. 
Know the river has its destination. 
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. 
And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. 
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personal. 
Least of all, ourselves. 
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. 
The time of the lone wolf is over. 
Gather yourselves! 
Banish the word "struggle" from your attitude and your vocabulary. 
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. 
We are the ones we have been waiting for!" 


- Oraibi, Arizona, Hopi Nation

Sixteen thousand six hundred lost souls...

Over sixteen thousand individual human beings have perished in Japan since the disaster struck almost exactly one week ago as I write this.  These are lives that have ended violently and unexpectedly.  People like you and me with hopes, dreams, fears, lovers, crushes, pets, jobs, siblings, hobbies, favorite colors, memories, good days and bad days... dead.

...The "Fukushima Fifty".  A group of anonymous engineers on a suicide mission into the radiation to try and slay a monster that can't be seen, nor, seemingly slayed.

...Lybia.  No-fly zones.  Lybians asking for help from the US and even offering to pay for it.  Surface-to-air missiles.  Rebels attacked. Genocide.

There were so many reasons for me to be happy today but I struggled to be my typically cheerful self.  It's St. Patrick's Day today but the collective jubilation of the day seemed to be muted in a subtle way.  I shopped for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding and I found myself irritated by my own vanity in the dressing room.  How can this be important when I live on the same planet with so many people who are suffering right now, on a daily, hourly basis?

Surprising, unsettling, shocking things are happening all over the world.  Natural disasters, man-made disasters, war, famine, disease, depleting resources, abuse, slavery, power struggles, fights for freedom, and humanity's greatest and most realistic fear: nuclear destruction.  It's everywhere.  Even if you turn off your television or choose to ignore it, it's still there.  And we are getting to a point in our collective human story where we are all affected and none of us can ignore the problems any more.  We can distract ourselves, we can drown our sorrows for a night but when a new day dawns, it's all still there.

I wish I had more answers but I only have one.  I hope you trust me on what I do know and I hope you join with me in opening to it as well, especially if you feel as helpless as so many of us do.  We must give love.  It takes nothing from you yet it gives so much.  We all determine what it means to give our love.  None of us are immune to what is happening.  Just as Siddhartha longed to know what existed beyond the walls of his kingdom and then ventured out to learn the ugly realities of life, we will all one day either seek to know the truth or the truth will come find us.  Let us be like the Buddha and seek the kind of enlightenment within ourselves that will, in turn, serve to bring more love to the world.  Because...

Sixteen thousand six hundred people just like you and me had no idea that their lives would end one week ago.

The families of sixteen thousand six hundred people had no idea that they would lose loved ones.

The community of sixteen thousand six hundred citizens had no way of knowing that it would be turned to rubble.

The nation of Japan had no idea that it would be ground zero for the greatest natural disaster in written history and the unwitting host, now, to a man-made nuclear disaster with no foreseeable conclusion.

As far and as wide as we will look for answers, there will be many experts with many answers and no answers just the same.  The one answer that does exist for all of us lies in the hearts of Six billion seven hundred million people.  And it is this:  The choice we make to love and take care of one another for as long as we are on this earth.  It is the one answer we will always have and we can always employ.  It is universal to every situation in every corner of our world.  Love exists in an endless supply.  As long as ONE of us chooses to do Good for another person, then I believe humanity is on the right path.

...The path to love.

Heal the World, Make It a Better Place...

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I know that Michael Jackson sang about the kind of truth in the world that we are experiencing today.  I also know that we can Heal the World, we can Make It a Better Place.  And we must.

I'm so struck today by this unconscionable disaster in Japan.  Many of us are left with images today that shock us and beg the question, "what can I do?"  Or better yet, "what should I be doing?"  I'm typically not a fan of shoulding someone but in this case, I believe that it is our obligation as humans to do something.  And we can do something just as easily as we we breathe, think and enjoy the pleasures that exist just by being here on this big beautiful planet.

While so many are suffering on Earth today, I feel that I have to do something.

I can't go rescue people in Japan.  I can't put out fires.  I can't find lost loved ones or deliver water to people trapped in their homes.  I can't figure out how to secure nuclear reactors or put highways back together.  I can't tell a mother that her child is gone or a child that her mother is gone.  Someone else, somewhere, will do what I cannot do but that does not remove responsibility from me or anyone else.

So I will do what I can, where I can and how I can.  What I can do is feel good that I've been giving my time and passion to a volunteer cause helps young girls I've never met.  That today I gave my time and knowledge to a friend who is growing into a role much bigger than himself.  That tomorrow I will give my birthday to a cause that is dear to my heart.  And I will give my time and joy to my mother over the next few days.  I will also recycle, call my friends, see a newborn and commit to praying more for peace in the world.

I fear that some people have developed a sense of numbness, a sense of helplessness or surrender in the face of the extreme pain, loss and anguish we have seen so much of lately.  It's true that it feels like it is almost too much for a single heart to bear.  I fear that some people have given so much to the last disaster that happened - or to the one before it - that they feel they have been exhausted.  That they've "given enough" - or even worse, that they've "given too much."

We must all continue to give and to give every single day.  Not just when Katrina hits.  Not just when Haiti is in ruins.  Not just when there is upheaval or celebration over a toppled regime.  Not just when you can turn on the TV and be reminded of your responsibility to give.  Just like life, where we must continue to celebrate on all the days between the holidays, we must also give on all the days in between.  We must learn to give when everything seems well in the world, in our community or in our own home.  We must give every single day.  In any way we can.  We must say hello to a stranger.  Ask the clerk at the grocery store about his day and really listen to what he has to say.  We must acknowledge a homeless woman and remind her that she is just as important, or intelligent, or worthy as you or me.  Let's not look away from someone in a wheelchair.  Let's ask a restaurant owner why he is using Styrofoam and then ask him politely not to.  Offer someone a ride.  Offer your skills to a friend.  Start donating to a cause that can do what you cannot.  Be more loving toward someone who rubs you the wrong way.  Call your estranged father.

Let's stop drawing lines.  Let's start building bridges between us.   But more than anything, let's start giving something - anything-  to someone today.  We are all victims of Katrina, Darfur, Haiti, and Japan just as much as we are the hero who pulls bodies from the wreckage or the one who fixes the highways.  What none of us should ever be is indifferent because what happens to everyone else happens to us as well.

They are us, and we are them.  

I am you, and you are me.  

We are one.  

And we can all heal the world.  

...For the children, and the children's children.

Setting boundaries...

Ah, the Achilles Heel for me and so many other women. But I'm making changes. Who's with me?

With my birthday coming up, I'm taking stock, cleaning house and putting up new speed limits and STOP signs on the highways and merry lanes of my soul.  I'll be honest, a lot of people have driven a lot of over-weight, loud-muffler bearing, exhaust-spewing jalopies through my soul that should have never been licensed for operation in the first place.  But I've been open - too open - and so I've unwittingly allowed them have their joy rides and illegal street races, hence the lesson of this little soliloquy.  I'm done with the oil dripping, pot holes and smog.  Are you?

I've found it very easy to see and diagnose the People Pleasing Disease (PPD) in so many women and girls I know.  I have fought ardently against the spreading of this disease, and, like any good girlfriend, I've dedicated HOURS upon HOURS amounting to surely weeks of my life to helping other women re-pave their own damaged roads.  The question is, have I done the same for myself?  I think I'm calling myself on the carpet here.  Not necessarily practicing what I preach...  The question is, though, why have I not?

I think perhaps the boundary setting lesson is one that sets in later in life for many women (and for too many, far too late in life).  As I sit here at the intersection of last year and next year, I'm actually quite grateful for the gift of another year under my belt.  The wisdom that comes with it far outweighs the perceived laundry-list of down-sides that we women are told to fear/despise/mourn/surgically alter as we grow older (don't even get me started on this little gem of backwards thinking that exists in this and so many other societies...).  Really, I can't see where the downsides are.  I think I'm more attractive than I was ten years ago, more confident (which makes a woman more attractive), smarter, sassier, wiser, and happier.  I've also got a whole lot of street smarts I didn't have ten years ago.  I dare you to tell me what I've lost.  Please.

This year's Ah-Ha moment will be wrapped in a big red bow (or perhaps yellow "caution" tape for those tempted line-crossers) and I will happily present it to myself in celebration of another year of life.  I'm giving myself the gift of saying NO.  I'm giving myself the gift of doing what I want to do and not what someone else wants or expects me to do.  My heart is about as big as the ocean so there's no danger of Shadenfreude here, so why haven't I been trusting myself and enforcing speed limits or erecting stop signs where they are needed?  Is this just part of the female condition?

I've become quite comfortable with my wisdom, confidence, life experience and the belief that I am an awfully valuable member of the human race.  Oh, and I'm an eternally optimistic survivor so there's no danger of blind Pollyanna-ness here.  I have indeed seen the ugliness of life, quite a bit of it actually. I just choose to still be incredibly positive about what we are all capable of overcoming and achieving.  My own process of reflection (a welcome side-effect of wisdom) has taught me to start protecting myself from all of the toxic pollutants of life, be they smog, PPD, negative people, toxic relationships or staying too long where I no longer want to be.  I am letting it all go and drawing some lines.

So here I am, world: Amy With Boundaries.  I've learned that by saying no, I don't feed into others' unhealthy habits, helping them to heal in their own ways as well.  It's a matter of stopping a cycle of dependency.  After all, in order for someone to take advantage of another person (that's some pretty bad Karma that needs to be healed), there must be a willing recipient (you've got to heal that kind of Karma too), conscious or not.  I choose to be conscious. I hope you will choose to consciously set your own boundaries too.

I'm positive that if it's done for your soul and with the right intentions, no one will be hurt.  In fact, you may find that other women and girls begin to model your behavior and will do the same for even more women.  If we do this right, ladies, we can heal a very old wound in the human condition and rid 51% of the population of a terribly painful habit that no longer serves anyone.

Letting go is opening up...

Let go of your toxic relationships with friends, lovers, beliefs and fears. 

Open yourself to those who embody the same traits you love in yourself. 

Are you a good listener? Seek others who are good listeners. Allow such traits to be barometers of who and what is right for you.  If you are trying too hard to make it work, that is a clear sign to you to let go and open yourself to what is right for you.

My friend Asha is teaching me to see life as a process of deconstructing and constructing.  This is a powerful way to view the journey.  After all, we are here to build something and we cannot bring in something NEW if we do not clear out what is old, no longer needed and taking up precious space.  This is true whether in our home, our closet, our mind, our heart or our soul.

What are you holding on to that must be released?  Don't know how to answer that question?  It's the thing that makes you feel overwhelmed or sad or weighed down when you come across it.  Quite simply, if that thing (friend, lover, belief, fear, pair of jeans or ugly chair) is not nourishing you, it's got to go.  In fact, it's draining you in a precious space that wants desperately to be filled with a job that makes you happy, a caring new lover, or a pair of jeans that make you feel like a million bucks.  So let it go.  And open up to what is around the bend... it's yours anyway, it's just waiting for you to let it in.

...So let go, and open yourself!