The un-shared ideas of quiet souls...

I've realized, over a recent period of self-directed disconnection from most of the stimulus happening in our world that so many people matter whose names we will never know and and so many solutions to problems in our world exist that will never be brought to light.  These inspired ideas and peaceful solutions won't even be brought to a level of consciousness other than that of the mind that thought it.

I've realized that our thinking, hurting, angry, over-communicative, over-stimulated and frustrated minds are so full that the quiet space needed for the gentle souls among us and peaceful solutions contained within them have nearly no place in our world right now... but it is precisely those souls and those ideas that are so needed.

The news bombards us.  The talking heads talk.  The angry politicians act without thought and fight without concern.  The egos are bigger than ever.  Acting on impulse, from anger and without thought - it's everywhere.  The injustice is ripe and rotting in our own front lawns but we can't seem to clean it up.  We can't seem to even call attention to it anymore because it is everywhere.  In fact, the stories that seem to capture and hold our attention are those rare stories of change and hope in the world - those are the ones that stand out from the rest.  Those are the stories we are truly seeking, but our pre-programmed and muddled minds always seek more and more stimulation and ultimately they forget the story of hope.  They turn back to the terror, the fear, the desolate reality of a world gone wrong.  We swim in it.  We are desperate for change and peace but we can't find it.  Too much gets in the way five minutes later.  The hope which seemed so palatable is once again gone and we are left seeking, knowing it is somewhere in the chaos of the rotten injustice.

The hope must be held on to.

Those of us with the hope, the ideas, the solutions, the programs, the generous hearts... we must dig deep and find all the courage we can possibly find to speak aloud those truths which we know can change the tides in our world.  It's hard, doing such a thing, because it requires strength and courage that come from a place which requires a loving fuel to keep us going... but such loving, hopeful energy is so hard to find right now.  Yet still we must try.

And keep trying because that's why we are here.

Just remember that when all of the noise and chaos around us becomes deafening, it is in that space that we can be heard.  We carry the story of hope so many are seeking - and the courage to do the work.  There will be times when we - when you - will need to be your own fuel.  When attentions wander and people forget that your ideas, your courage, your work of change are indeed valuable and are indeed changing the world, you must become your own fuel.  It was in the very same space of great pain and injustice in the world that the quiet and humble teachers throughout human history - Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha - walked quietly through the hells that surrounded them to tell their stories of Love, Peace and Hope.  Those teachers became leaders, those leaders became prophets and those prophets became spirits who guide us still today.  Call on them in your time of great need, but remember that you too contain the same courage they had.  You have the same kind of thoughts, the same space for hope, the same earthly body and the same calling to "be the change you wish to see in the world." (Gandhi)

You may be one of us, you may be that peaceful teacher and I tell you now that I  hear you... and you are not alone.  For it is in the time of great imbalance that true balance can be found.  It is in our destitution that we can so clearly see what hope looks like.  And it is in a world that appears devoid of love for our fellow human that we can recognize instantly what love looks like.  While many may become distracted and forget that they've seen the love, somewhere deep inside them their soul remembers what it looks like and they will keep seeking it.  Stand firm in the love and peace you bring to the world and those seeking it will find you.  God's plan is greater than any of ours and he has sent us to remind the world of that.

Be strong.  Be faithful.  Be courage itself.  Be what you were meant to be.

Eye of God

Flip your perspective...

It's so easy to get stuck.  Really stuck.  In our thinking, in our worries, in our ideas.  Even in the good things, we can get stuck - but those are easier to navigate.  It's when we get so deeply lodged in our own fears that it is critical to flip our thinking.  The only way out, I've found, is to imagine - and keep imagining - the exact opposite of our current situation.  That's when you get leverage from the universal law that says that what you think about expands, what you focus on, you attract more of and what you give your attention to, you manifest.

It is easy to understand then - in understanding this universal law of expansion - that by focusing more and more on the bad stuff or the suffering in your life, more of that exact situation is created, digging a deeper and deeper rut until you feel so incredibly stuck that you forget how to look for a way out of it.

Flipping your perspective, by creating a situation that is so completely opposite from the stuck place you may find yourself in allows you to start creating the space you want to be in rather than the one you don't want to be in.  The more you think about the place you want to be, and the more colors you use to paint that picture and the more details and emotions you attach to what you want, the more you open that magical, mystical vortex that allows you to create what you want in your life - and, at the same time, you will be moving away from that place of stuck-ness that you so desperately want to get out of.

I'm a big fan of fake it 'til you make it - that's the what.  The how is by flipping your stuck situation and focusing on where you want to be rather than where you are.  Your mind is a very loyal and reliable employee of yours.  It works around the clock without judgement or argument and it will gladly respond to what you think about by creating a stronger and stronger thought pattern to solidify and: (this is your choice, not your mind's) either further entrench you in what you don't want or to create a whole new attitude and way of thinking about what you do want.  In turn, the cells of your body (another hardworking doobie on your team) will respond in kind by making you feel either sicker, sadder and more stuck, or if you just choose to flip your thinking, your body will respond to make you feel healthier, stronger and more free to create what you want.

So if you're feeling stuck, just try it.  Imagine the opposite situation from the one you are in.  There are endless different perspectives you can have so go ahead and just start creating.  Make your new perspecive as fancy and wonderful as you possibly can, meditate on it and watch what develops in your life.  Remember that all of your employees (mind, body and universe), will respond to create for you so be careful what you wish for...!  Just be sure to keep it up.  Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.

Sixteen thousand six hundred lost souls...

Over sixteen thousand individual human beings have perished in Japan since the disaster struck almost exactly one week ago as I write this.  These are lives that have ended violently and unexpectedly.  People like you and me with hopes, dreams, fears, lovers, crushes, pets, jobs, siblings, hobbies, favorite colors, memories, good days and bad days... dead.

...The "Fukushima Fifty".  A group of anonymous engineers on a suicide mission into the radiation to try and slay a monster that can't be seen, nor, seemingly slayed.

...Lybia.  No-fly zones.  Lybians asking for help from the US and even offering to pay for it.  Surface-to-air missiles.  Rebels attacked. Genocide.

There were so many reasons for me to be happy today but I struggled to be my typically cheerful self.  It's St. Patrick's Day today but the collective jubilation of the day seemed to be muted in a subtle way.  I shopped for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding and I found myself irritated by my own vanity in the dressing room.  How can this be important when I live on the same planet with so many people who are suffering right now, on a daily, hourly basis?

Surprising, unsettling, shocking things are happening all over the world.  Natural disasters, man-made disasters, war, famine, disease, depleting resources, abuse, slavery, power struggles, fights for freedom, and humanity's greatest and most realistic fear: nuclear destruction.  It's everywhere.  Even if you turn off your television or choose to ignore it, it's still there.  And we are getting to a point in our collective human story where we are all affected and none of us can ignore the problems any more.  We can distract ourselves, we can drown our sorrows for a night but when a new day dawns, it's all still there.

I wish I had more answers but I only have one.  I hope you trust me on what I do know and I hope you join with me in opening to it as well, especially if you feel as helpless as so many of us do.  We must give love.  It takes nothing from you yet it gives so much.  We all determine what it means to give our love.  None of us are immune to what is happening.  Just as Siddhartha longed to know what existed beyond the walls of his kingdom and then ventured out to learn the ugly realities of life, we will all one day either seek to know the truth or the truth will come find us.  Let us be like the Buddha and seek the kind of enlightenment within ourselves that will, in turn, serve to bring more love to the world.  Because...

Sixteen thousand six hundred people just like you and me had no idea that their lives would end one week ago.

The families of sixteen thousand six hundred people had no idea that they would lose loved ones.

The community of sixteen thousand six hundred citizens had no way of knowing that it would be turned to rubble.

The nation of Japan had no idea that it would be ground zero for the greatest natural disaster in written history and the unwitting host, now, to a man-made nuclear disaster with no foreseeable conclusion.

As far and as wide as we will look for answers, there will be many experts with many answers and no answers just the same.  The one answer that does exist for all of us lies in the hearts of Six billion seven hundred million people.  And it is this:  The choice we make to love and take care of one another for as long as we are on this earth.  It is the one answer we will always have and we can always employ.  It is universal to every situation in every corner of our world.  Love exists in an endless supply.  As long as ONE of us chooses to do Good for another person, then I believe humanity is on the right path.

...The path to love.

Heal the World, Make It a Better Place...

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I know that Michael Jackson sang about the kind of truth in the world that we are experiencing today.  I also know that we can Heal the World, we can Make It a Better Place.  And we must.

I'm so struck today by this unconscionable disaster in Japan.  Many of us are left with images today that shock us and beg the question, "what can I do?"  Or better yet, "what should I be doing?"  I'm typically not a fan of shoulding someone but in this case, I believe that it is our obligation as humans to do something.  And we can do something just as easily as we we breathe, think and enjoy the pleasures that exist just by being here on this big beautiful planet.

While so many are suffering on Earth today, I feel that I have to do something.

I can't go rescue people in Japan.  I can't put out fires.  I can't find lost loved ones or deliver water to people trapped in their homes.  I can't figure out how to secure nuclear reactors or put highways back together.  I can't tell a mother that her child is gone or a child that her mother is gone.  Someone else, somewhere, will do what I cannot do but that does not remove responsibility from me or anyone else.

So I will do what I can, where I can and how I can.  What I can do is feel good that I've been giving my time and passion to a volunteer cause helps young girls I've never met.  That today I gave my time and knowledge to a friend who is growing into a role much bigger than himself.  That tomorrow I will give my birthday to a cause that is dear to my heart.  And I will give my time and joy to my mother over the next few days.  I will also recycle, call my friends, see a newborn and commit to praying more for peace in the world.

I fear that some people have developed a sense of numbness, a sense of helplessness or surrender in the face of the extreme pain, loss and anguish we have seen so much of lately.  It's true that it feels like it is almost too much for a single heart to bear.  I fear that some people have given so much to the last disaster that happened - or to the one before it - that they feel they have been exhausted.  That they've "given enough" - or even worse, that they've "given too much."

We must all continue to give and to give every single day.  Not just when Katrina hits.  Not just when Haiti is in ruins.  Not just when there is upheaval or celebration over a toppled regime.  Not just when you can turn on the TV and be reminded of your responsibility to give.  Just like life, where we must continue to celebrate on all the days between the holidays, we must also give on all the days in between.  We must learn to give when everything seems well in the world, in our community or in our own home.  We must give every single day.  In any way we can.  We must say hello to a stranger.  Ask the clerk at the grocery store about his day and really listen to what he has to say.  We must acknowledge a homeless woman and remind her that she is just as important, or intelligent, or worthy as you or me.  Let's not look away from someone in a wheelchair.  Let's ask a restaurant owner why he is using Styrofoam and then ask him politely not to.  Offer someone a ride.  Offer your skills to a friend.  Start donating to a cause that can do what you cannot.  Be more loving toward someone who rubs you the wrong way.  Call your estranged father.

Let's stop drawing lines.  Let's start building bridges between us.   But more than anything, let's start giving something - anything-  to someone today.  We are all victims of Katrina, Darfur, Haiti, and Japan just as much as we are the hero who pulls bodies from the wreckage or the one who fixes the highways.  What none of us should ever be is indifferent because what happens to everyone else happens to us as well.

They are us, and we are them.  

I am you, and you are me.  

We are one.  

And we can all heal the world.  

...For the children, and the children's children.

We are all affected by one person's pain...

Today I pray for miracles, faith, hope, 
compassion, cooperation and peace 

in the aftermath of the earthquake in Japan.


We are all one.

So many lives were ripped apart by the unthinkable earthquake in Japan today.  We are all connected, we are all affected and we are becoming a humanity that finally feels one another's pain and anguish.  This and all natural disasters happening around the world cause us all pain.


I hope you pray today, send your love and remember that we are all connected. We are all one.  Take care of each other today, we all need one another.  Your prayers, thoughts and good intentions are powerful for you and every other human on the planet.  

Girl Power, Women's Empowerment and the end of "the lesser sex"...

International Women's Day is 100 years old today...  How are we doing, humanity?  And what are YOU doing to change things?

Are we where we should be?  No.  We should be much further along on this journey.  I don't see one reason why not, either.  We've fought a long, hard battle.  Sure, my grandmother gained the right to vote (in the United States) in her lifetime and yes, it's illegal for someone to hire or fire on the basis of gender (in the United States) but tonight, in most of the world, such things are only dreams for women who can only focus survival and feeding their starving children.


Are more women empowered today than we were 100 years ago?  Some (in the United States and other developed countries) are, yes.  For for most women around the world, their great, great grandmothers' lives looked awfully similar to their own.  


Are women stronger and more powerful than they once were?  I don't know.  I believe that women contain an infinite source of strength and courage - and always have.  I also believe that 100 years has brought some of us closer to the freedom to USE that infinite source of strength and courage for more than just survival, therefore allowing us to tap into that source of power in new and more far-reaching ways.  But more powerful?  I don't think that's the right question to ask.  Perhaps the right question is, then, are we getting closer to the freedom to use our power?  Yes, I believe we are.  


The facts are terribly painful but I know that pain can be turned to passion to change the world.  From the horrific realities of the lives of young girls who suffer rape, torture and genital mutilation in third world countries to the sexism, oppression and gender bias that exists right here in the Land of the Free, women - and our collective feminine experience - contain enough suffering to motivate every single one of us to the kind of passion needed to change the world.  I believe that the call to action surrounding the rights of women is as great as the Earth itself - and the potential within womankind is the greatest untapped source of energy that this planet has ever had or will ever contain.


My life and my work is about doing what I can, as one woman, to empower and engage as many women and girls in the shift that I believe is happening on this planet.  From my work with One Home Many Hopes where we house, feed, love, and educate a group of orphaned and abandoned girls in Kenya, to my work as an urban teacher of business, creative expression and entrepreneurship, I do all that I can for every single girl who has entered my life.  The greatest thing I can do, in my opinion, is to remind each girl I know that she has a voice - a voice that must be used because only SHE can do what God sent her to this world to do.  Each girl, each woman, each human is here containing a gift of strength and a passion greater than she can imagine.  Once each girl, each woman and each human begins to realize this, and to see her own unique potential to do Good in the world, we will all be living in a world where the term "lesser sex" would never be used to describe a group of human beings who have suffered and survived atrocities such as these... (Source: dosomething.org)

1. Women perform 66% of the world’s work, but receive only 11% of the world’s income, and own only 1% of the world’s land.
2. Women make up 66% of the world’s illiterate adults.
3. Women head 83% of single-parent families. The number of families nurtured by women alone doubled from 1970 to 1995 (from 5.6 million to 12.2 million).
4. Women account for 55% of all college students, but even when women have equal years of education it does not translate into economic opportunities or political power.
5. There are six million more women than men in the world.
6. Two-thirds of the world’s children who receive less than four years of education are girls. Girls represent nearly 60% of the children not in school.
7. Parents in countries such as China and India sometimes use sex determination tests to find out if their fetus is a girl. Of 8,000 fetuses aborted at a Bombay clinic, 7,999 were female.
8. Wars today affect civilians most, since they are civil wars, guerrilla actions and ethnic disputes over territory or government. 3 out of 4 fatalities of war are women and children.
9. Rape is consciously used as a tool of genocide and weapon of war. Tens of thousands of women and girls have been subjected to rape and other sexual violence since the crisis erupted in Darfur in 2003. There is no evidence of anyone being convicted in Darfur for these atrocities.
10. About 75% of the refugees and internally displaced in the world are women who have lost their families and their homes.
11. Gender-based violence kills one in three women across the world and is the biggest cause of injury and death to women worldwide, causing more deaths and disability among women aged 15 to 44 than cancer, malaria, traffic accident, and war.

And to end on an optimistic note, consider what investing in a girl's life can create in return:

"Girls may be the answer to some of the world’s most challenging problems. Research shows effectively investing in girls in developing countries creates a virtuous circle that improves health and prosperity for entire communities.  Girls who are better-educated earn more money, get married later, are healthier, and have fewer children than their peers. As earners, they invest more of that money back into their families, which accelerates the benefits of the initial investment, improving the lives of a whole new generation." From an article called "Philanthro-teens" at http://doc.mediaplanet.com/all_projects/6574.pdf

Know a girl?  Love a woman?  Have a mother?  Then you need to ACT.  A lot of words can be written, holidays can be celebrated and blogged about but change only comes from action.  So mentor a girl.  Fund a woman's new business idea.  And help me to banish an oppressive term that should never have been uttered in the first place.

Now, I ask YOU, what are YOU doing to empower women and girls RIGHT NOW?

Loving someone you've never met...

No, I'm not talking about online dating.  I'm talking about a contagious Love that has caught me and so many others completely by surprise.  It is the Love for 32 orphaned girls in Mtwapa, Kenya that exists within a community of volunteers for an organization called One Home Many Hopes.  This is a community to which I happily belong.

I've worked with underprivileged children for as long as I can remember.  In many ways, I was one myself, receiving the support of kindhearted church-goers who funded summer camp for me and my sister, and the like. I have been working with, loving, and going out of my way to take care of children who need me since I became an adult and I don't see an end to that but I've found myself in a state of awe for the Love that exists in the One Home Many Hopes (OHMH) community.

When I attended an event in May of 2010 at the request of my friend and OHMH volunteer, Tracy, I was surprised to find well over 200 other people in attendance.  I wondered to myself if I had somehow missed the boat.  How had I not heard about an organization with this kind of following in my own town?  I brought my mom to the event which was a great experience because she was able to witness what turned out to be my Love at First Sight moment with the organization.  We sat in the front row, directly in front of the projection screen where I first saw the faces and voices of a group of girls I will now do anything I can to help.

By the time the time Anthony Mulongo (the Kenyan who rescued and housed each of these girls) was finished speaking, I was in tears and I had been changed for life.  I had fallen in Love.  I hugged the man I'd never before met and promised to do anything I could.  And I am.

I brought home magnets with the girls faces that night and put them on my refrigerator.  I now look at those beautiful girls each time I open the door.  I smile at them, talk to them and tell them I Love them.

To those who know me, this isn't much of a surprise - or very far out of the ordinary for me.  I care.  A LOT.  But there has been something special about the way I feel connected to OHMH and these girls that I can't quite explain.  And then, today happened.

Today I asked another volunteer, Cristina, to tell me her story about what drew her to OHMH.  Cristina sent me the link to her story on the organization's website, and I was amazed to learn that volunteering for OHMH is the reason she decided NOT to move out of the country.  I mean, people move for all sorts of reasons and they are typically not come upon lightly.  Some of us have even left behind relationships, families and best friends for the promise of something greater.  But to STAY for a nonprofit that can't pay you for your dedication?  That's unheard of!  I had a wonderful chat with Cristina who is equally in Love with the 32 girls who live in an orphanage in Kenya that she, too, has not met.  I thought this was a pretty incredible moment in my day.  After all, I'm giving my birthday this year to the girls, Cristina gave up an international relocation...  Really! What is in the OHMH water?

But Cristina's story was not the end of my amazement today.  My sister, Suzie, fell in Love with OHMH today, too.  Now, you should know that my sister is as about as opposite from me as she could be.  I'm a woman of words and emotion, she is a woman of images and thought.  I'm a teacher, a writer, and a motivator to causes.  My sister is a photographer with a dry wit who rarely shows the kind of gushy, mushiness that has long been part of my trademark.  Case in point:  She finally posted a response to her only sister's blog yesterday for the first time.  The entry she commented on was the deeply personal essay I wrote about Setting Boundaries.  What did she write, you might ask?  And I'm quoting her here:  "hey. that stop sign is in my neck of the woods."  Yup, she commented on the photograph I used to illustrate my deeply poignant message about boundaries. Oy.

Suzie and I have come to appreciate our differences and I love that my sister shows the world through her lens what is in her heart - and she's damn good at it!  She photographs the unique love of families, pregnant women in their most joyful moments, and babies who don't give a damn about the camera - and somehow each image manages to capture a moment in time that I'm pretty sure her subjects weren't even aware of.  You would understand, then, that I would never expected to get an email from my sister today with a two-page heart-felt letter written to every single one of her friends explaining her Love for the girls of Mudzini Kwetu. 

My sister told me that her letter, and her Love for OHMH, came to her this morning while she was at church.  The message of that sermon was simply that "faith always has a plan."  I wish I had heard the rest of that sermon but I'm pretty sure her minister was talking about the kind of plan that built OHMH and has brought so many of us to have the kind of faith that allows us to Fall in Love with the girls, the cause and the community it has created.  I'm pretty sure that faith's plan is to show us all this kind of Love - the kind of Love that allows you to devote yourself to someone you've never met - and the kind of Love is changing the world.  


Have a OHMH Love Story of your own to share?  Send it to OHMHLoveStories (at) g m a i l (dot) c o m!

Give Your Birthday for Your Birthday

I'm sure there's a movement or a website for this kind of thinking because I love it so much.  If not, then I hereby declare this the beginning of the Give Your Birthday for Your Birthday Movement.

It started as an off-handed idea.  I have a friend who said she was planning to do a service project for her birthday and it got me thinking about throwing a bash for my birthday that raised money for my favorite cause, One Home Many Hopes.  I put the idea out to the universe on the universe's favorite communication tool, Facebook, and everything fell into place.

Some of the girls laughing and playing at their new home in Kenya.

I'll be throwing a fabulous party with the help of some very generous friends and I ask only that folks come to learn about the organization's mission and what is happening half a world away in Kenya.  Oh yeah, and that they make a donation. One Home Many Hopes (OHMH) is an organization founded by two amazing human beings, Anthony Mulongo (a Kenyan) and Thomas Keown (an Irishman) who work tirelessly to house, love and educate abandoned, abused and orphaned girls in Mtwapa, Kenya.  It's a small movement with immeasurable impact on the lives of girls who are just like you and me:  full of hopes, dreams, talents and important contributions to give this world.  Girls who WILL change the world.

I've found that my birthday party fundraiser has attracted more people than I expected and it's brought people together in a way I hadn't imagined.  OHMH is run by volunteers and this has brought several new friends into my life which is a gift in and of itself, but the richness of this entire experience is even deeper because it has opened a part of my soul that I hadn't yet tapped into.  I HOPE you take a moment to learn about OHMH as well.  Watch this two minute video and you will see first hand that the girls HOPE you do, too.

I dare you to Give Your Birthday for Your Birthday and see just how giving this special day away to those in need can bring you far more in return than what you would otherwise bring to yourself.  It's all about giving, loving and opening your hearts, people.  This is a perfect way to begin giving and commit to giving for a lifetime.  After all, you're going to have a birthday each year, every year.

Need more reasons to do this?  I'm great with lists, so here you go.

1. There are countless children on our great Earth who do not know their birth dates, let alone celebrate them.
2. The money spent on celebrating YOU can feed, house or educate SOMEONE ELSE for far longer than you think else where in the world.
3. We are here on Earth to love, to give to and take care of one another.  There are nearly 7 billion of us - that's far more people than you know and who can come celebrate with you.  
4. There are countless children in the world living without parents, without shelter, without food and without anyone to love them tonight.
5. You'll never forget your birthday so you'll never forget to give.
6. You're living in a part of the world that allows you to read what I'm writing right now and while you are doing so, someone is providing light, electricity, and internet connection - and probably even a little heat or air conditioning to make this a comfortable experience for you.  Do you know how many people CANNOT do what you're doing right now and never will?
7. You could have just as easily been born somewhere in the world where you would never celebrate your birthday because survival would be the only priority you'd ever have.
8. There are so many organizations doing wonderful things to help the people I've made you think about here and they COUNT ON donations from people like me and YOU.
9. Your friends will inspired by you to give back as well.  They will love you a little more and will probably make your birthday an even more rewarding experience for you.
10. To give is to receive.  Love is all there is and I promise you that the more you give, the more you get in return.

Want to give to OHMH for my birthday?  I HOPE you will.  Click here.  And I thank you very, very much.