This is not mine, but please join this global prayer to heal our water. We all drink the same water, from the same ocean and the same precipitation. What has happened to the water in Japan due to nuclear contamination has happened to all of our water. Dr. Emoto has done some amazing work to show that a single molecule of water (the emotion of life) responds to the positive intention of prayer.
Read on for information on tomorrow's global prayer (in blue below) and a link to his blog.
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A letter from Dr. Masaru Emoto... To All People Around the World, Please send your prayers of love and gratitude to water at the nuclear plants in Fukushima, Japan! ... By the massive earthquakes of Magnitude 9 and surreal massive tsunamis, more than 10,000 people are still missing…even now… It has been 16 days already since the disaster happened. What makes it worse is that water at the reactors of Fukushima Nuclear Plants started to leak, and it’s contaminating the ocean, air and water molecule of surrounding areas. Human wisdom has not been able to do much to solve the problem, but we are only trying to cool down the anger of radioactive materials in the reactors by discharging water to them. Is there really nothing else to do? I think there is. During over twenty year research of hado measuring and water crystal photographic technology, I have been witnessing that water can turn positive when it receives pure vibration of human prayer no matter how far away it is. Energy formula of Albert Einstein, E=MC2 really means that Energy = number of people and the square of people’s consciousness. Now is the time to understand the true meaning. Let us all join the prayer ceremony as fellow citizens of the planet earth. I would like to ask all people, not just in Japan, but all around the world to please help us to find a way out the crisis of this planet!! The prayer procedure is as follows. Day and Time: March 31st, 2011 (Thursday) 12:00 noon in each time zone Please say the following phrase: *“The water of Fukushima Nuclear Plant, we are sorry to make you suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you, and we love you.” * Please say it aloud or in your mind. Repeat it three times as you put your hands together in a prayer position. Please offer your sincere prayer. Thank you very much from my heart. With love and gratitude, Masaru Emoto Messenger of Water http://emotopeaceproject.blogspot.com/
The universe brings you exactly what you need for your own personal growth exactly when you need it. It may be a new friend, an opportunity, a mistake, a road block, an insight, a resource, a piece of wisdom or an ah-ha moment.
Whatever you receive is yours and only yours.
Whether challenging or filled with love, it is precisely what you need - and you are exactly where you need to be.
Last night, I celebrated my birthday again, this time with a friend I've known for several years who shares the same birthday as me (plus a few years) and while we are very different people in some ways, we are incredibly similar in some, too. It makes me wonder if sharing the day of our birth somehow makes us understand things in a ways others cannot.
Happy Birthday to us!
Let me tell you a bit about our evening and how it brought me to a place of even deeper gratitude for Nate and a new commitment to speaking my gratitude aloud for at least one person to hear.
When Nate and I arrived at the restaurant last night, the hostess initially seated us in a very cramped part of the restaurant. There wasn't even room for Nate to wheel his chair under the table without blocking the narrow walkway between the tables. Yes, it was a Saturday night, but the restaurant was big enough to have the kind of space available that someone in an electric wheelchair truly needs in order to enjoy an evening out that the rest of us able-bodied folks take for granted. I find it easy to become vocal about Nate's needs when we spend time together. I notice so much of what he experiences on a daily basis and 90% of it just makes me angry. After seating us at an impossible table (and after the hostess looked over Nate's head directly at me to ask a question about him), I got angry enough to get up and ask for another table. Eventually, they found us one and we made the great trek to the other side of the restaurant (people needing to move themselves or their chairs in order to let us through). We were re-seated at a table in the corner near the side door which was opened often, and every time it was we nearly froze to death but it didn't matter. We were about to have a great time, as we always do, laughing, talking about work, relationships, God, the meaning of suffering and so much more.
Something always happens when I spend time with Nate. A part of me feels his pain. A part of me wishes to make things easy for him, even if just for the hours we are together. A part of me worries that I will outlive him. A part of me sees the beauty and great humility that comes from someone who must ask for help.
More than anything, after I've spent time with Nate, I am always reminded of the miraculous capacity humans have to face any amount of suffering and move through it to a place of not just survival, but gratitude. Nate was proud to have lived fifteen years as a quadriplegic. Turning 1 year older was a source of pride for him, despite all that you and I might view as the pain and loss in those fifteen years.
Nate is a teacher, like me. He's caring and compassionate, just like me. He has the ability to engage anyone in conversation and wants to make them laugh. Last night complete strangers came over to speak to him - some offered to take our photo (Nate would tell you that it's because we are the two most attractive people in the world - unfortunately, that picture didn't save so we only have a few dark camera phone self-portraits to prove his theory). Our waiter even thanked us for making his night a little bit brighter after struggling with a challenging party of 20 people (they were right next to us - between the camera flashes all night and, apparently, the bill divided 20 ways, I can imagine what a headache the night must have been for him).
While we would have stayed out much later talking about the reasons that our souls chose the paths we are on in this lifetime, Nate had to return home. Before we said goodbye, though, we made a commitment to something. We even pinky swore on it. Nate and I agreed to post one thing on each other's Facebook page that we are grateful for every single day. We decided that there is always something to be grateful for. Even the tiniest thing. And sometimes, the things that we can be grateful for aren't so tiny - like a night that was more fun than any other we've had (that includes the Sox-Yankees game I got to see with him because he can get tickets in the handicap section). I could have chosen to focus on the rough start to the evening because Nate's unique needs were not considered but instead, I choose to think about how the evening ended up to be quite wonderful - for Nate, for me and a waiter named Jason.
And just so you know a bit more about the kind of person Nate is, here's one final detail about last night: I started to get indigestion toward the end of the evening from all of the spicy food we ate and he insisted on asking the waiter where the nearest drug store was - and then going out in the cold himself to get me Rolaids.
So, gratitude for gratitude, that's what I'm sharing with Nate. May you, too, find someone to share your gratitude with. This is a way for us to keep each other thinking positive and remembering to always find something to be thankful for, even on our darkest days.
Here is our Gratitude for Gratitude, day 1:
Amy: I'm grateful for honest friendship.
Nate: I am thankful for good food, good friendship, and good conversation!
Without even typing a word, this kind of feels like a redux on the theme of setting boundariesI wrote about not too long ago. Perhaps I'm being reminded of my declaration to setting boundaries as I am called to write about balance tonight.
Perhaps it's because I've lost some very precious things in life, perhaps it's because of some wisdom I've gained with age, but whatever the reason, I've reached a point in my life where I know that I must intentionally and deliberately create balance in my life.
So many speak of balance. So many books are written on the subject. So many experts claim to have "secrets" or tools or or to-do lists for us to use in creating balance in our lives. I'm beginning to think of balance a little bit in the way some might consider God: worth believing in, worth the effort to know, a life-long inquiry and entirely unknowable by anyone but oneself. And just like many a believer's prayers to God, I think one's commitment to maintaining balance might ebb and flow throughout life as well. Finding balance becomes terribly important when life is out of balance but not much of a task when things feel good (how many people pray more when things go really badly in life but forget to check in with prayers of gratitude when life seems to be going along swimmingly?). And just becauselife feels good, doesn't mean things are in balance.
Balance?
I'm in a space right now where things are beginning to feel pretty good. I've eliminated many unnecessary things from my life in recent months. I've spent quite a bit of time in reflection, meditation and prayer. I've been asking myself the Big Questions. This is all good. But in the process of getting rid and opening up, I am acutely aware (surprisingly!) that a lot is flowing to me right now and I have to be very careful not to recreate another version of what I've just gotten rid of. I am employing my still juvenile boundary setting skills, but in the midst of drawing lines and saying yes or no, I find myself reflecting on the need to be acutely aware of not just what I'm allowing into my life but how I am using it and relating to it. Am I being realistic? Am I being overzealous? Am I missing information? Is this going to serve me? How much of my precious energy and focus do I want to assign to each part of my Universe of Amy?
This process is new to me and quite fascinating. It feels as though I have just given myself permission to take the wheel and decide what, where, how, who and when. If this is the case, who the hell was in charge before now?? Is this really what it feels like to be grown up? That's a laughable thing for me to say because despite a number of revisits to my 26th birthday over the last several years, I am indeed grown up and I have the battle scars, bits of broken heart and a few grey hairs to prove it. I've also been "grown up" for longer than most people my age but I think I've been seeking the permission and direction of others in one way or another for almost all of my adult life. And since that is also precisely what I did during my childhood, I guess this means that up until the very recent past, I have lived my entire life according to the expectations of others. Good lord. Is this possible? And am I the only one?
So, here I am. At a very interesting transition point in life reflecting on so many lessons learned in order to apply them to achieving balance. Perhaps this revelation itself is part of creating the balance I am seeking. Perhaps being worthy of my own permission - and recognizing that no one but me can give me permission - is creating the foundation for that balance. I don't know what it is for sure and I can't tell you what it looks like but I can tell you that this balance thing feels like something big.
My heart expands when I consider being the captain of my own ship and deciding what kind of cargo I'll carry with me to which ports. And if need be, I can decide to dump it all into the ocean to lighten my load or recalculate my direction to a new port. It's not about what or how much or how long or how far, it's about my relationship to what I carry -- and remembering that I get to choose what I say yes or no to when it comes to what I bring on board in the first place. I'll get back to you when I can figure out how to factor the wind, waves, gulf stream and tropical storms into my New Balance Theory. I'm wise enough to know you can't plan for those things and they are what really throw us off balance in life in the first place. For now, I'll start here and keep up with my prayers of gratitude.
This is Part 2 of a two-party entry I began this morning. There was much, much more to say.
My belief (click to read the previous post) is this: War is never the answer... Peace is. I have countless reasons why I believe this but only a few thoughts were shared in my previous post. The reality of saying things out loud (or writing them out loud, as the case may be) opens me to other's opinions. I love that about humanity. I also love that I live in a free society where I am free to believe in Peace. Specifically, as it turns out, the freedom of Peace.
Peace does not cost anything - and even someone living without freedom can embrace, embody and spread Peace. Consider what Nelson Mandela has achieved through Peace, as a prisoner for 27 years of his life.
“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”
- Nelson Mandela
Peace is made of love and when love is given, it multiplies, it heals and it is returned ten fold. Peace is harmonious with our most basic emotional needs and the way we would treat a newborn baby or a child. Peace is the only way to end suffering in the world even if you see the issue as a simple matter of physics. Yes, physics. While I am a very spiritual person, science supports what I am about to explain about Peace.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction (Einstein - another Peacemaker speaking of a "universal truth", if you will) and matter will not change on its own unless external conditions such as temperature, or internal conditions such as chemical content, are changed. And a tiny, simple, almost imperceptible change can completely alter something from one form to another, like combining 2 Hydrogen atoms (H2) with one oxygen atom (O2) makes an entirely different compound every human needs for survival: H20, or water.
We also need oxygen but, like hydrogen, when it is combined with other elements, entirely different and often deadly substances are created that are nothing at all like water. So, now that I have used almost all of my high school chemistry on you, you can begin to see why I will argue that bringing more Peace to the world has the potential to change things significantly simply by introducing it somewhere where it does not currently exist, if you only look at it from a scientific perspective.
If we go one step further and consider that quantum mechanics has shown us that things happen beyond our scientific method's ability to measure, then we can be even more open to the unknown impact of Peace on a world full of suffering. And consider, for a moment, a mind-blowing discovery within quantum mechanics called Young's Double Slit experimentthat illustrates how the act of observing a thing changes it (this fascinating discovery is also called Relational Quantum Mechanics). If even passive observation can change the behavior of particles then I implore you to consider how prayer and intention for Peace by millions and millions of people can, indeed, change the world.
"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding"
- Albert Einstein
Here's a video illustrating Thomas Young's Double Slit experiment - worth the watch. But stick with me on this Peace business...
So, since I am not a scientist (though I did love my high school physics class!), and because I do believe in the great power of the mystical and metaphysical, I will implore you further to consider just how powerful Peace has been on this planet and will continue to be.
The most famous peacemakers in history are household names - Jesus, Buddha, Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yes, the greatest terrorists and murders in history are also household names but it is because of the pain and suffering they have caused, not the love they brought to the world. When you hear the name Hitler, you instantly feel the impact of that name. The fear, the violence, the unconscionable destruction of human life on a massive scale. You heart sinks. You sigh. Your shoulders drop or your muscles may tighten. You would prefer not to have heard or read the name at all. It is a name with a low, sinking, painful feeling.
But go back to the list of names I wrote in blue and read those again. Pause on each one. You gaze may rise, your face may relax, you may take a cleansing breath, you feel stronger, more hopeful, you might smile. You might even nod or breathe audibly at the recognition of a powerfully loving, giving, compassionate human being. You may see pictures of each in your mind - Mother Theresa holding a dying child, Jesus healing the sick. You may hear "I have a dream" in Martin Luther King's own voice in your head. You may feel the sacrifice Gandhi made of his own body. And all of these names together, emit Peace. A strong and sturdy Peace that each has left here on Earth for us in moments like this.
I was challenged by a friend today on my statement that war is never the answer. My friend challenged me not on the issue of Peace but on my insistence of "Never." My friend argued that had we not gone to war against Hitler, he and the Third Reich would have succeeded with the extermination of the Jews. As Gadhafi is now killing his own people, is war not a possible solution to allow his people to be free? My friend doesn't like war either but argued that opting for peace and hoping for the best outcome, while desirable, is not preferable to war when there are instances that seem to have no other solution. I understand this, but I still take a different view.
I respect my friend for making this statement as it planted the seed of what you are reading right now. What I said in response was this: Stopping Hitler was one thing, the world war that surmounted was something else. I believe that we are advanced enough as a human race to learn from thousands of years of war and death and destruction that war is never the answer. I think that something could have stopped Hitler years and years before he grew a following. Turning a blind eye was as much of the fertilizer for the Third Reich as Hitler himself was. And I still think that we are at a point in human history where we risk greater damage to the world and humanity than ever before if we do not find ways beyond war to address all of these issues that are arising and will continue to arise around the planet. My belief is that every Hitler, every Gadhafi, rises to power as a challenge to all of humanity to find a New Way to combat hatred. In order to find that new way, we must look outside the war "box" and see what else we have in us to employ. If we just keep turning to war, we'll never find that something else. Nothing changes if we keep doing the same thing over and over. So in order to turn hate to love, we must employ more love, more peace - and it is going to take ALL of us to do this.
Suffering around the planet is our opportunity to engage in the act of Ending Suffering. After thousands and thousands of years, we have evolved as a human race to a global community with responsibility to each other just as we are responsible to our family, our neighbors and our nation. There are no borders, there are no lines. There is no difference between you and me and someone we've never met 7,000 miles away. Our task as a human race is not to wage war, not to have more [money/food/possessions/power] than others, not to pretend it doesn't matter because it's happening to someone else born somewhere else. You could have just as easily been born into the body of a suffering orphan in Africa. And so could I. Because we are now all connected, we must feel empathy. And once you do, even for just a moment, you will also feel the innate need to replace the feeling of suffering (Hitler) with compassion (Mother Theresa). Hatred with love. War with Peace.
We were not born with a single cell in our tiny bodies that knew of hatred or violence or war. These are man-made things. We were born only with cells knowing of the need for food, human touch and love. Think of the number of times a day a baby smiles or giggles. The number of times a child laughs in a given day in comparison to an adult. It is not until we achieve adulthood that we begin to incorporate fear, pain, suffering, abuse, trauma, neglect into the psyches of others. And yes, we do it to others, just as others did it to us. That baby was not born knowing these things - the world in which he grows up exposes him to it. And therein lies the problem: The cycle of suffering from one generation to the next by being born into a world that solves problems with fear, not love.
We must now solve the problems we face with love in order to end the cycle. The time has come and we each have everything within us we need to become ambassadors for Peace on this planet. And if you can begin to live your own Peace and then send it out to the rest of the world, imagine the power it might contain. I won't try to convince you that I know it to be true (and I do), but the power of Peace, when spoken, when shared, when employed as a habit in your daily life, feels just as loving and powerful as the names of Ghandi, of Jesus, of the Dalai Lama, when they are spoken. Those humans are not in the same room with you, nor are some even some even alive on this planet, but the mere mention or thought of their names can be uplifting. That is the very same universal positive power that exists in prayers of Peace, conversations about Peace, and Peaceful action in your daily life.
And, just like love, when given, Peace comes back to you tenfold. So bring Peace to your life today and see what happens. Choose to not engage in road rage tomorrow even if you are late for work and someone cuts you off (while it is not about what you get in return, pay attention to what begins happening around you - you might find that someone else lets you cut in front of them in traffic - or a parking spot opens up just as you need it). Look for an opportunity to give something small to someone else - let someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store, or give a dollar to a beggar and look him in the eye and smile while you do.
Perhaps, just like the electron in the video above which acted differently once it was aware it was being watched, we too can affect different behavior all over the world by becoming aware that everyone is watching us. You're watching what I'm doing right now, who is watching you and how might knowing that someone is watching you change your behavior? If you think about it for a moment, you'll find yet one more reason to act in Peace because whether you think you are being watched or not, the universal laws that govern our world will bring us more of that which we give. So give Peace. Today and every day.
“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself.
You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself...
Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”
I believe that there are some universal truths. Among those, one is very strong and very universal: Like Attracts Like. I have learned over and over in my own life that this is true. What I know...
Miserable people don't attract happy people (for obvious reasons) - and happy people don't allow miserable people to affect them. But happy people do attract other happy people and misery loves company.
"Do unto others as you would have done unto you" There's a simple biblical take on Like Attracts Like. Want to be treated with love, respect, kindness? Then treat others the same way.
If you think about or worry about something, it is very likely that it will come to pass.
Doing things the same way will always garner the same results. So many people fail to realize this and they continue to hope for change but their behavior never changes. They do this over and over and suffer mounting disappointment. To change your outcome, you must also change your actions.
"Fake it till you make it" works. Want to feel better? Happier? More confident? Act like you already are and your body/mind/cells will follow.
Smile and people will find you to be more approachable, bringing more smiles to you in return. Smile Attracts Smile.
Fear getting sick and you will get sick.
This is certainly enough of a list to get my point across. But the real reason for this list and this post is to ask why, why, WHY can't we learn as a human race that WAR does not create PEACE?
War Attracts War.
War attracts hatred, fear, anger, defensiveness, retaliation, wrong action.
Peace Attracts Peace.
Peace is made of and creates more love, compassion, hope, understanding, openness.
War is never the answer.
Peace always is.
The question, then, must be HOW do we create peace in the world? I know how I work to create peace, how do you create peace in your world? It is those same ways that will create peace between nations, between peoples and across the entire world. But we must start now. Wars have been fought since one man realized that he could fight for something he wanted rather than finding a way of obtaining something through love and cooperation with another human being. If, for thousands of years, war has never "worked" (as evidenced by the massive amounts of war and hatred that still exist in the world today) then perhaps it is finally time to try a new approach that is not based in war. Inciting more fear and hatred will only waste time, resources, energy and worst of all, human lives.
...It is not coincidental that I just heard a newscaster say the words "not a significant number of lives have been lost" since the bombing began in Lybia. I'm afraid I've never met a living soul whose life wasn't significant. Mine is. Yours is. We are all significant.
I have loved this passage for years and read it often. Each time I read it, it becomes more true, more eminent. I encourage you to write it down, bookmark it, print it, copy it - whatever it takes for you to read this again and again when you are seeking answers and guidance.
The wisdom is not mine, but the sunset, for a few moments last June, was.
Both can and should be shared.
A Message from the Hopi Elders
"You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour. Here are the things that must be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relation? Where is your water? Know your garden. It is time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift, that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personal. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word "struggle" from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we have been waiting for!"
I would say it is 'the quiet acceptance of what is'."
- Wayne Dyer
Maybe it's because Mom has just left and the weekend has only just begun. Maybe it's because she was here for an entire week. And maybe it's because we had so much fun together and she lives so far away that it's so hard for me to say goodbye. And yes, all of these things are true but they are not the only reason it's hard for me to say goodbye.
I've always been bad at saying goodbye. In fact, it runs in my family. My grandmother takes the cake, though. If there were a contest for long goodbyes, she'd win the blue ribbon AND the grand prize. It's nearly impossible to say goodbye to her on the phone - just as you've said your goodbyes and said several I Love You's, another important point (or, as is more often the case, something entirely irrelevant serving just as a reason to stay on the phone one minute longer) comes to mind that puts conversation back on the table (or on the phone line, as it were). And we're all just as fabulously talented at it because we've learned from the Queen of Not Saying Goodbye. We just don't like letting go. Is it possible that a not completely unhealthy form of codependency runs in the genes of the women in my family?
I think it's just as likely that it's hard for me to say goodbye because I live so far away from my family. Mom lives the closest (329 miles away) and I see her the most - a few times each year. My grandmother lives only 334 miles away but she can't do the 6 hour ride to see me anymore so I see her only once a year or so. My sister used to live 4,466 miles away but she has recently relocated so that we are now only 2,401 miles apart. Still, I'm pretty sure if we lived a reasonable 20 miles away we'd still have a hell of a time getting off the phone - all of us.
Since moving 329 miles from where I grew up some ten years ago, it's been hard for me to adjust to not being around my family. Because of circumstance growing up (my sister and I shared a room and occasionally a bed on and off throughout childhood - and my mother insisted that we room together at camp and girl scouts and sleep overs at my best friend's house), the four of us women spent an awful lot of time together. In the same space. For many, many years. And then we all parted. My sister 4,446 miles in one direction and I 316 miles in the opposite (I've since moved, adding 13 miles and a few dollars in tolls).
I've always envied families who have the fortune (or misfortune as some might say) to live in the same area code. Or families who have so many members that you can afford to lose one or two to distance while still keeping family mayhem in tact between the holidays. I've learned, slowly, to allow friends to become like family but it's still always been hard for me to say goodbye, even to them.
It's not that I need them around all the time - in fact, those who know me know that I need a good amount of time to myself to think and grow and meditate and do whatever the heck I please. But it's still hard to let people go. One of my very best girlfriends remains amazed at my ability to have faith in love and romantic relationships primarily because I remain surprisingly optimistic about love despite past indicators but also because it seems that I haven't always said goodbye when said indicators suggested that I should have. Yup, I hung on longer than I should have - personal information, yes, but I know I'm not the only one. Thankfully, I've lived and learned that lesson but saying goodbye to those I love remains difficult. This doesn't exactly line up with my spiritual way of seeing the world though so I'm trying to balance it all out.
I happen to believe - in a very deep part of myself - that when people leave they are still with you in whatever capacity you carry them with you, be it memory, thought, prayer or simply by loving them from afar. I don't believe in needing someone else to fill a part of yourself that needs to be filled (if you're empty anywhere, that's your karma to work on in this lifetime). So if I don't need someone else, if there's no dark shadowy part of me I'm trying to fill, and since I like to be alone to regenerate every day, and I happen to have lots and lots of friends, why has it been hard for me to say goodbye? I've certainly gotten better at it and I'm getting better all the time, but still. It's not my strong suit.
Buddhism and the Dalai Lama teach us that attachment to external objects causes suffering. He also says that love, compassion and inter-connectedness are the natural "needs" of all living things. I suppose I have the kind of love and inter-connectedness with my mother, my sister and my grandmother that just makes it hard for us to say goodbye to one another - one obvious reason is because next time is often an unknown point in the future. But I do believe that we are all connected all the time. And because so many spiritual leaders speak of peace coming from acceptance of what is in the present moment, I will just accept that we are all terrible at saying goodbye and simply love what we have.
Or might it be that there's just something very human and sticky and inter-connected about saying goodbye to another human you are completely and unapologetically yourself with?
Whatever the reason is, I will end with this: To Mom, Gram and Suz, I accept the fact that we are all really, really bad at saying goodbye.
Over sixteen thousand individual human beings have perished in Japan since the disaster struck almost exactly one week ago as I write this. These are lives that have ended violently and unexpectedly. People like you and me with hopes, dreams, fears, lovers, crushes, pets, jobs, siblings, hobbies, favorite colors, memories, good days and bad days... dead.
...The "Fukushima Fifty". A group of anonymous engineers on a suicide mission into the radiation to try and slay a monster that can't be seen, nor, seemingly slayed.
...Lybia. No-fly zones. Lybians asking for help from the US and even offering to pay for it. Surface-to-air missiles. Rebels attacked. Genocide.
There were so many reasons for me to be happy today but I struggled to be my typically cheerful self. It's St. Patrick's Day today but the collective jubilation of the day seemed to be muted in a subtle way. I shopped for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding and I found myself irritated by my own vanity in the dressing room. How can this be important when I live on the same planet with so many people who are suffering right now, on a daily, hourly basis?
Surprising, unsettling, shocking things are happening all over the world. Natural disasters, man-made disasters, war, famine, disease, depleting resources, abuse, slavery, power struggles, fights for freedom, and humanity's greatest and most realistic fear: nuclear destruction. It's everywhere. Even if you turn off your television or choose to ignore it, it's still there. And we are getting to a point in our collective human story where we are all affected and none of us can ignore the problems any more. We can distract ourselves, we can drown our sorrows for a night but when a new day dawns, it's all still there.
I wish I had more answers but I only have one. I hope you trust me on what I do know and I hope you join with me in opening to it as well, especially if you feel as helpless as so many of us do. We must give love. It takes nothing from you yet it gives so much. We all determine what it means to give our love. None of us are immune to what is happening. Just as Siddhartha longed to know what existed beyond the walls of his kingdom and then ventured out to learn the ugly realities of life, we will all one day either seek to know the truth or the truth will come find us. Let us be like the Buddha and seek the kind of enlightenment within ourselves that will, in turn, serve to bring more love to the world. Because...
Sixteen thousand six hundred people just like you and me had no idea that their lives would end one week ago.
The families of sixteen thousand six hundred people had no idea that they would lose loved ones.
The community of sixteen thousand six hundred citizens had no way of knowing that it would be turned to rubble.
The nation of Japan had no idea that it would be ground zero for the greatest natural disaster in written history and the unwitting host, now, to a man-made nuclear disaster with no foreseeable conclusion.
As far and as wide as we will look for answers, there will be many experts with many answers and no answers just the same. The one answer that does exist for all of us lies in the hearts of Six billion seven hundred million people. And it is this: The choice we make to love and take care of one another for as long as we are on this earth. It is the one answer we will always have and we can always employ. It is universal to every situation in every corner of our world. Love exists in an endless supply. As long as ONE of us chooses to do Good for another person, then I believe humanity is on the right path.
There is not a blog site with enough of space nor a book with enough pages to allow anyone, ever, to write everything there is to be written about the complex and holographic relationship between a mother and daughter. I'm not even going to attempt anything of the sort. Instead, here's what I have to say (starting with a concise list of twenty items)...
In five day's time, my mother has:
Celebrated the return of my 26th birthday (again).
Reminded me and informed several others that she spent two days of hard labor "bringing me into this world."
Watched me speak from the heart to a room full of people.
Met people who love me.
Met people I love.
Met some of my friends who are now her friends on Facebook.
Stayed up until 4:00AM, on purpose.
Made me cookies.
Conspired to marry me off.
Burned cupcakes.
Bought me $3.00 gourmet cupcakes.
Ate sushi for the first time.
Decided she doesn't like sushi and has no use for chopsticks.
Meditated with a group of women she'd never met ...and me.
Did not learn how to upload photos on her new laptop despite hours of my coaching.
Spent too much time on Facebook.
Made me laugh.
Frustrated me.
Made me wish she lived closer.
She'd have to make her own list of things I've done since she's been here but I'm pretty sure her list would be just as ridiculous. And I know that she would add one thing, and it is this:
I've made her proud.
She tells me that a lot these days. She would be the first to tell you that she should have told me this a lot more during the first 20 years of my life. But she and I have learned a lot and come to appreciate the fact that our greatest challenges with each other - in this most sticky relationship - are exactly the challenges we both needed to go through and overcome to become who we are today.
Somewhere along the way in life, I learned that motherly love can come from anyone. I tell my students that they've made me proud because everyone needs positive reinforcement and the kind of love that comes from hearing these words. I know I do. And I think we should all affirm one another often as we can. We should all say "You've made me proud" more often than we do. This is not necessarily just a mother's job, of course, but I think many people assume that others get this kind of reinforcement at home and that's enough - but it's not. And what's worse, we don't think it's necessary to commend one another. Far too many people do not have mothers, fathers, partners, families, colleagues or bosses in their lives who can give them this kind of gift. But you can.
There's a great deal of love, gratitude, power and magic in telling someone that they have made you proud. So go ahead and tell someone that he or she has made you proud. Today.
I had the most wonderful weekend for 32 orphaned girls in Mtwapa, Kenya.
My birthday party for charityon Saturday evening at my friend Alex's house was a fantastic success. It was a fun, happy and inspirational event attended by a diverse crowd of people who all care about things bigger than themselves. They now, too, care about what is happening in Kenya.
I was delighted with the turnout, the money raised, and the awareness generated for my favorite charity,One Home Many Hopes, but these are just words and they cannot begin to express how I feel about what was and always will be a lovely moment in time.
And I've seen once again that something bigger than us
brings us together in love.
As Thomas Keown, OHMH's founder, said to me as we slowly made our way to the door at the end of the evening, "the money raised is only a part of what is to come from this evening." The seeds planted and the energy put into motion will surely bring us so much more - an immeasurable amount more. This is the kind of hope that has led so many people to build OHMH into what it is today. It is also exactly what I know and believe to be true and magical about the human spirit. We dropped a pebble in the pond on Saturday night. Now it's time to watch the fantastic journey of the ripples created by that pebble.
Just as there are not tools to measure the impact of my birthday fundraiser, there are not words for me to express my gratitude to all who were involved, all who gave, and all who will continue to give.
It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I know that Michael Jackson sang about the kind of truth in the world that we are experiencing today. I also know that we can Heal the World, we can Make It a Better Place. And we must.
I'm so struck today by this unconscionable disaster in Japan. Many of us are left with images today that shock us and beg the question, "what can I do?" Or better yet, "what should I be doing?" I'm typically not a fan of shoulding someone but in this case, I believe that it is our obligation as humans to do something. And we can do something just as easily as we we breathe, think and enjoy the pleasures that exist just by being here on this big beautiful planet.
While so many are suffering on Earth today, I feel that I have to do something.
I can't go rescue people in Japan. I can't put out fires. I can't find lost loved ones or deliver water to people trapped in their homes. I can't figure out how to secure nuclear reactors or put highways back together. I can't tell a mother that her child is gone or a child that her mother is gone. Someone else, somewhere, will do what I cannot do but that does not remove responsibility from me or anyone else.
So I will do what I can, where I can and how I can. What I can do is feel good that I've been giving my time and passion to a volunteer cause helps young girls I've never met. That today I gave my time and knowledge to a friend who is growing into a role much bigger than himself. That tomorrowI will give my birthday to a causethat is dear to my heart. And I will give my time and joy to my mother over the next few days. I will also recycle, call my friends, see a newborn and commit to praying more for peace in the world.
I fear that some people have developed a sense of numbness, a sense of helplessness or surrender in the face of the extreme pain, loss and anguish we have seen so much of lately. It's true that it feels like it is almost too much for a single heart to bear. I fear that some people have given so much to the last disaster that happened - or to the one before it - that they feel they have been exhausted. That they've "given enough" - or even worse, that they've "given too much."
We must all continue to give and to give every single day. Not just when Katrina hits. Not just when Haiti is in ruins. Not just when there is upheaval or celebration over a toppled regime. Not just when you can turn on the TV and be reminded of your responsibility to give. Just like life, where we must continue to celebrate on all the days between the holidays, we must also give on all the days in between. We must learn to give when everything seems well in the world, in our community or in our own home. We must give every single day. In any way we can. We must say hello to a stranger. Ask the clerk at the grocery store about his day and really listen to what he has to say. We must acknowledge a homeless woman and remind her that she is just as important, or intelligent, or worthy as you or me. Let's not look away from someone in a wheelchair. Let's ask a restaurant owner why he is using Styrofoam and then ask him politely not to. Offer someone a ride. Offer your skills to a friend. Start donating to a cause that can do what you cannot. Be more loving toward someone who rubs you the wrong way. Call your estranged father.
Let's stop drawing lines. Let's start building bridges between us. But more than anything, let's start giving something - anything- to someone today. We are all victims of Katrina, Darfur, Haiti, and Japan just as much as we are the hero who pulls bodies from the wreckage or the one who fixes the highways. What none of us should ever be is indifferent because what happens to everyone else happens to us as well.
Today I pray for miracles, faith, hope, compassion, cooperation and peace
in the aftermath of the earthquake in Japan.
We are all one.
So many lives were ripped apart by the unthinkable earthquake in Japan today. We are all connected, we are all affected and we are becoming a humanity that finally feels one another's pain and anguish. This and all natural disasters happening around the world cause us all pain.
I hope you pray today, send your love and remember that we are all connected. We are all one. Take care of each other today, we all need one another. Your prayers, thoughts and good intentions are powerful for you and every other human on the planet.
International Women's Dayis 100 years old today... How are we doing, humanity? And what are YOU doing to change things?
Are we where we should be? No. We should be much further along on this journey. I don't see one reason why not, either. We've fought a long, hard battle. Sure, my grandmother gained the right to vote (in the United States) in her lifetime and yes, it's illegal for someone to hire or fire on the basis of gender (in the United States) but tonight, in most of the world, such things are only dreams for women who can only focus survival and feeding their starving children.
Are more women empowered today than we were 100 years ago? Some (in the United States and other developed countries) are, yes. For for most women around the world, their great, great grandmothers' lives looked awfully similar to their own.
Are women stronger and more powerful than they once were? I don't know. I believe that women contain an infinite source of strength and courage - and always have. I also believe that 100 years has brought some of us closer to the freedom to USE that infinite source of strength and courage for more than just survival, therefore allowing us to tap into that source of power in new and more far-reaching ways. But more powerful? I don't think that's the right question to ask. Perhaps the right question is, then, are we getting closer to the freedom to use our power? Yes, I believe we are.
The facts are terribly painful butI know that pain can be turned to passion to change the world. From the horrific realities of the lives of young girls who suffer rape, torture and genital mutilation in third world countries to the sexism, oppression and gender bias that exists right here in the Land of the Free, women - and our collective feminine experience - contain enough suffering to motivate every single one of us to the kind of passion needed to change the world. I believe that the call to action surrounding the rights of women is as great as the Earth itself - and the potential within womankind is the greatest untapped source of energy that this planet has ever had or will ever contain.
My life and my work is about doing what I can, as one woman, to empower and engage as many women and girls in the shift that I believe is happening on this planet. From my work with One Home Many Hopes where we house, feed, love, and educate a group of orphaned and abandoned girls in Kenya, to my work as an urban teacher of business, creative expression and entrepreneurship, I do all that I can for every single girl who has entered my life.The greatest thing I can do, in my opinion, is to remind each girl I know that she has a voice- a voice that must be used because only SHE can do what God sent her to this world to do. Each girl, each woman, each human is here containing a gift of strength and a passion greater than she can imagine. Once each girl, each woman and each human begins to realize this, and to see her own unique potential to do Good in the world, we will all be living in a world where the term "lesser sex" would never be used to describe a group of human beings who have suffered and survived atrocities such as these... (Source: dosomething.org)
Women perform 66% of the world’s work, but receive only 11% of the world’s income, and own only 1% of the world’s land.
Women make up 66% of the world’s illiterate adults.
Women head 83% of single-parent families. The number of families nurtured by women alone doubled from 1970 to 1995 (from 5.6 million to 12.2 million).
Women account for 55% of all college students, but even when women have equal years of education it does not translate into economic opportunities or political power.
There are six million more women than men in the world.
Two-thirds of the world’s children who receive less than four years of education are girls. Girls represent nearly 60% of the children not in school.
Parents in countries such as China and India sometimes use sex determination tests to find out if their fetus is a girl. Of 8,000 fetuses aborted at a Bombay clinic, 7,999 were female.
Wars today affect civilians most, since they are civil wars, guerrilla actions and ethnic disputes over territory or government. 3 out of 4 fatalities of war are women and children.
Rape is consciously used as a tool of genocide and weapon of war. Tens of thousands of women and girls have been subjected to rape and other sexual violence since the crisis erupted in Darfur in 2003. There is no evidence of anyone being convicted in Darfur for these atrocities.
About 75% of the refugees and internally displaced in the world are women who have lost their families and their homes.
Gender-based violence kills one in three women across the world and is the biggest cause of injury and death to women worldwide, causing more deaths and disability among women aged 15 to 44 than cancer, malaria, traffic accident, and war.
And to end on an optimistic note, consider what investing in a girl's life can create in return:
"Girls may be the answer to some of the world’s most challenging problems. Research shows effectively investing in girls in developing countries creates a virtuous circle that improves health and prosperity for entire communities. Girls who are better-educated earn more money, get married later, are healthier, and have fewer children than their peers. As earners, they invest more of that money back into their families, which accelerates the beneļ¬ts of the initial investment, improving the lives of a whole new generation." From an article called "Philanthro-teens" at http://doc.mediaplanet.com/all_projects/6574.pdf
Know a girl? Love a woman? Have a mother? Then you need to ACT. A lot of words can be written, holidays can be celebrated and blogged about but change only comes from action. So mentor a girl. Fund a woman's new business idea. And help me to banish an oppressive term that should never have been uttered in the first place.
Now, I ask YOU, what are YOU doing to empower women and girls RIGHT NOW?
